The only chicken served in my vegetarian household

Okay, that's not completely true. I've also made a chicken out of a cheese quesadilla. 

I cut tofu into a large circle for the body and a small circle for the head, and fried it in teriyaki sauce. For the rest of the chicken I have carrots legs, raisin eyes, apple wings and beak, and a red pepper comb. The ground is made of quinoa with green pepper for grass and steamed broccoli shrubs.

The husband and I also had teriyaki tofu with quinoa and steamed broccoli, but our dinners weren't nearly as cute.

This gives me an idea of what I'll be serving to SchmoopyBoy on Thanksgiving ;)

Halloween wrap-up

Here's a closing to an eventful Halloween season. For a 'date afternoon' with SchmoopyBoy, we went for a hayride. I like to call this picture "SchmoopyBoy and a couple of asses" because I'm a dork like that, although his head is conveniently hiding one of the asses.

Of course the hayride would not be complete without a goofy overexposed self portrait, in which SchmoopyBoy makes one of his characteristic poses for the camera. 

Later that week we carved a pumpkin. A cute happy pumpkin, not a scary one.

On Halloween night both kids got dressed up. Lil' Cowboy Schmoo kept me company while I handed out treats at home. Batman chose to see a movie over Trick or Treating, so the husband took him to see Hotel Transylvania. But, because we are super cool parents, he still came home to a bucket of treats.

Why do you keep walking to the door?
Don't you know my reading my stories is serious biznis?

The caped crusader. Shh, don't tell anyone his true identity.

Ladies, vote

You Don't Own Me - a PSA from Leslie Gore.

What "Having It All" looks like in my life

In keeping with the theme of this month's Feminist Odyssey Carnival, today I am writing about what "Having It All" looks like in my life. I approach the concept of Having It All from my particular set of circumstances, which include the facts that (a) I work outside the home as the primary income earner in my family (I am not in a formal leadership position but am respected as a technical expert in my field), (b) I have a rather crunchy, AP-ish style of parenting, and (c) my husband and I do not have a local “village” of support. I would expect Having It All to look fairly different for a woman with different circumstances.

Given all that, this is what Having It All looks like in my life:

• I am immersed in an imaginative world almost every day, if even for a short while. Sometimes I get to play the role of a dinosaur. Sometimes I get to play the role of a superhero. Sometimes I get to play the role of a train, horse, fairy or any other number of characters my preschooler can dream up.
• I spend a good portion of my days surrounded by really smart, motivated people that, like me, believe in public service and sustainable resource management.
• I get to exchange hugs and kisses with two sweet little schmoos every day.
• I get to nerd out to my heart’s content, studying data and figuring out how to better answer questions and solve problems.
• I get to be as silly as I can and make up songs with the word “poo-poo” in them (yeah, I’m juvenile like that).
• Several times each year, I get to present information to representatives from 7 states and numerous local and regional agencies. It instills a sense of pride to have my organization’s confidence to present high level, high stakes issues to key stakeholders.
• I am challenged to be creative with food in a way I never thought I would be.
• I derive the personal and professional satisfaction of being respected as a technical expert in my field.

Most of the time, Having It All looks and feels pretty great. I am incredibly privileged and my life is full to bursting with laughter and love and pride and accomplishment. Sometimes it looks and feels like complete chaos, but I love that there is seldom a dull moment. That does not mean that it is not hard, or overwhelming or heartbreaking sometimes. This is also what Having It All looks like in my life:

• My house is a mess. Always. Even when it’s clean there are piles of clutter everywhere, and I simply do not have the time and energy to change the average state of chaos.
• Sometimes, my last view of home when I back my car out of the driveway in the morning is my baby crying and reaching for me, trying to swim out of his father’s arms because only mommy will do at that moment in time.
• Sometimes I have to turn down good opportunities for interesting projects that would lead to better exposure and relationships with my organization’s stakeholders – which could lead to better advancement potential - because they involve overnight travel; and with a breastfeeding baby that still wakes multiple times per night and spends a good portion of the night by my side, overnight travel just doesn’t fit into my life right now. (Night weaning, I have my eye on you, but I'm not quite ready yet)
• I have heard my preschooler tell me “I don’t love you when you leave”. I know that kids his age can mix up words like “like” and “love”, and that he really means “I don’t like it when you leave”, but still, ouch.
• When my group manager retires next year, I will probably not be in the running for his replacement. I will likely stand by and watch my (equally talented and deserving) childless male coworker apply for and get the promotion, because I will not be willing to take on the additional hours or travel requirements at that time. It will be a bitter pill to swallow because I do have ambition, but I will have to maintain hope that there will be other opportunities for me at a later date, that my time will come when my children’s need for my presence isn’t so great.

Having it all does not mean having perfection (as if there were such a thing outside of fairy tales and click-bait mommy-war articles). There are always trade-offs and choices to be made. I make the choices that I think work best for my circumstances and my family, knowing fully well that other women might make different choices and would judge me for my choices.  And that is ok with me. Just as there is no single monolithic Woman, there is no single set of life choices that represent Every Woman's personal priorities. 

And really, most of the time I am simply too busy, distracted, or exhausted to care. 

"Do You Have It All?" is the Wrong Question

I have deliberately stayed away from the topic of Having It All during the past months. As you may be aware, there were a number of well publicized articles in the media discussing whether or not women could, or even should endeavor to “Have it All”. At the time there were so many smart, articulate women that wrote on the issue, many articulating my very thoughts on the matter, that I simply left the discussion to their capable hands. Nonetheless, the theme for this month’s Feminist Odyssey Carnival is “Having It All” so I’ve been thinking a bit about the topic lately. You might even see more than one post on the topic this month.

As I was thinking about the question “Do I Have it All?” and what does that mean to me, it occurred to me that the question that we are asking ourselves, I think, is all wrong. The question is not “Do you have it all?” or even “Should you have it all?” The question should be “Are you happy with what you have?” If the answer to the last question is yes, then the answer to the first question is also yes. The problem is that we are up to our eyeballs in click-bait mommy-war articles that tell us that unless we actually live in a perfect fairy tale world (as defined by ???) the answer to this basic fundamental question ought to be “No”.

There are lots of reasons why a woman with a career may not have children. Some reasons are based on choice, and some are not. There are lots of reasons why a woman with children may maintain a paid career. Some of those reasons are based on choice and some are not.

I tend to think that if a stay-at-home mom is happy and fulfilled and feels well balanced in her life, then she has it all because she has everything she wants, or at least everything she needs to be happy and fulfilled. Likewise if a childless, career-driven woman is happy and fulfilled and feels well balanced in her life, then she also has it all because she has everything she wants, or at least everything she needs to be happy and fulfilled.

There is no exact formula for having it all that equates for every woman all the time, because there is no monolithic Woman. A woman should be skeptical of anyone who tells her that she must have A and B and C but not D or else she does not have it all and should feel disappointment with her life.

Weekend Wrap Up

It was a full weekend here at chez Schoopy. I had a 3 day weekend for Columbus Day, which was nice. On Saturday I took the schmoos to a local fall festival. SchmoopyBoy was hoping to get his face painted like Batman, but was pretty happy with the spider theme.

Bounce houses, a farmers market where we bought and snacked on the best, most sweet and delicious strawberries I've had all season, and a playground with a huge play train made for a great day. Of course I forgot the good camera at home, and Lil' Schmoo wouldn't stay still long enough for me to get a half decent picture on my crappy cell phone camera, so no pics of him with pumpkins or trains. boo.

On Sunday, I had a special date with SchmoopyBoy. Just the two of us. We went to see the Batman Live show. In case I haven't mentioned previously, SchmoopyBoy is somewhat Batman obsessed these days. He has discovered the magical world of super heros and villains. Batman is his favorite. I thought the show was great! SchmoopyBoy thought it was a little too long and complained that the villains were "boring." (WTF?!?!?!?) At two hours including an intermission, it probably was a bit long for a 4 year old. And perhaps watching the villains stand around and plot against Batman wasn't the most exciting part of the show. But... Acrobats! The Batmobile! Batman and Robin! Cool stuff!!

I was chatting with him at bedtime, and I realized that the main thing that was so special for him was that I spent the day with him. I don't need to spend a lot of money on tickets to shows to make him happy. The fact that he got to spend time alone with me and get my full attention made him feel special. The fact that he got to dress up like his favorite superhero, and see him in action was just icing on the cake.

My superdude strikes a pose

Even superheros need some time to just chill on the couch

I was able to squeeze in some one-on-one time with Lil' Schmoo on Monday too. I'm going to try to make sure both kids get some decent one-on-one time with me this year. That was my Rosh Hashanah new year's resolution.

On Monday SchmoopyBoy got sick.  It's just a cold, but still no fun. Hopefully no one else will catch it this time around.

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Introducing the Scorpion Longtongue

SchmoopyBoy first told me about the Scorpion Longtongue a few days ago. He had made a sculpture of it at preschool. Since I was unfamiliar with such a beast, I asked him about it. Here are a few details:

• The scorpion longtongue is a big bug that eats scorpions.
• It has no teeth.
• It gets the scorpions with its long, sticky tongue.
• Its tongue is as big as an elephant.
• It makes a sound effect when it eats a scorpion that I cannot reproduce on this blog.

I finally got to see a model Scorpion Longtongue today when I picked SchmoopyBoy up from preschool. Exhibit:

You might be wondering, how does he know about scorpions? Well, we've found two of the little suckers in our yard over the past month or so. (Eeek!!! Those things freak me out more than the black widow spiders that like to take up residence in these parts!) Pest control has been called. Unfortunately, their arsenal does not include any natural predators such as the dread Scorpion Longtongue.

Wordless Wednesday - Brothers Playing

Just ignore the mess in the background, please?

Cucumber 'Fish Scales'

I've been having a bit of fun using slices of cucumber as fish scales. Here are a couple of fun meals I've made for SchmoopBoy over the past few weeks.

Mermaid (or is it Medusa with that hair? ;)

The mermaid's head and body is a freehand cutout from a slice of toast. Carrots make her top, as well as her hair. For the face there are raisin eyes, a red bell pepper mouth, and a small toast triangle nose. The tail, of course, is sliced cucumber.

Tropical Fish

The fish body is a large slice off an apple, almost a half. The fins and tail are each thirds of a cheese quesadilla. A carrot slice is the eye, and a grape tomato cut in half forms the mouth. I only made cucumber scales for the tail this time.

Earmaggedon

It is Earmaggedon over at Chez Schmoopy at the moment. Poor Lil' Schmoo has the ear infection to end all ear infections and he is one miserable little schmoo. Complete with fever of 103, three hours of nonstop inconsolable crying with refusal to nurse yesterday, and virtually no daytime naps for the past 3 days. Night time is not even worth describing. Oh, and did I mention he also has two teeth cutting through at the moment?

The one saving grace is that no one else in the house is sick, although I'm sure the moment I hit "Publish" SchmoopyBoy and the husband will both come down with the flu.

How am I? Haven't slept in 3 days. Haven't showered in 5 days. Barely ate today. But, I'm still standing (well, ok, at the moment I'm actually sitting). Feeling a bit sucked dry, but I just keep repeating to myself "This too shall end."  

Going to bed now, since it's about time for the little guy to wake up again. Plus I have a big meeting tomorrow for which I need to appear presentable and functional (ha ha). Wish me luck!

Entertaining ourselves...

...with self portraits. SchmopyBoy has been really into taking pictures lately. Here are some self portraits I've taken of myself with him and Lil' Schmoo over the last week.

It's planting season

So far we've planted carrots and chard. We've still got several more planters, and I think we'll be putting in some spinach, broccoli, and cauliflower. Hopefully our crop will turn out a little better than last year's. Probably the soil we had was not quite right - everything sprouted, but then it just stopped growing after a while.

Quesadilla Butterfly

This is so easy to make and made SchmoopyBoy happy. I just cut a cheese quesadilla in half, and then cut the two halves into sections for the wings  - about two thirds for the top wing and about one third for the bottom wing. Cut the peel off a slice of cucumber in two pieces for the antennae. The peeled slice of cucumber can then be used, along with slices of carrot, to decorate the wings. One more baby carrot for the body and voila! You could get fancy and make a face on the butterfly. I'll try that next time.

Fighting the Preschool Gender Police

Good Heavens, the gender policing starts early! What kills me is the extent to which it is done by the kids themselves - and I'm talking about preschoolers here. SchmoopyBoy was once told by one of the little girls in his class that he could play with her and another girl later but now they were doing "girl stuff". Another time a little boy told my husband, as he applied sunscreen to SchmoopyBoy's face, that he shouldn't use that sunscreen, that it was for girls, because there was a picture of a sun on the container that looked feminine to him. The last straw came one day when I was picking up SchmoopyBoy from school, and he wanted a story before we left. I started to read an I Spy book from the class collection. One of the little girls joined us. On one page the book read "I spy ballet slippers" and as we scanned the page for the ballet slippers the little girl said "That is for girls."

I could not let that go. I had to correct her. "Actually, boys dance ballet too. They wear different shoes than girls, but ballet is for both girls and boys."

The next time I came to pick SchmoopyBoy up, I made a point of bringing in a picture of myself and a male dancer from back in my younger ballet dancing days. I searched out the girl and showed her that there was both a girl and a boy ballet dancer, but they were wearing different ballet slippers. Needless to say, once it got out that I had a picture of ballet dancers, everybody in the class wanted to see it - both the girls and the boys. So all the kids in the class got a lesson that day.

The teacher was thrilled. I had spoken with her before about my concerns about how gender was or was not presented and enforced in the class. I do believe we are on the same page, but the children bring the ideas to class that they have learned at home. When she hears something like what I described above, she addresses it, but she can't always hear everything. She mentioned she would love to have pictures of girls and boys doing things associated primarily with one or the other gender, similar to the photo I brought in, so I volunteered to provide her with some. I sent her:

pictures of male and female ballet dancers,

pictures of a princess and a prince,

pictures of male and female doctors,

pictures of male and female astronauts,

pictures of male and female teachers, and

pictures of male and female police officers.

She sent me a note of appreciation:
I appreciate your taking time to find the pictures for me. As teachers, we have many ideas we would like to do but don't have the time. We can use the pictures in many different ways. Thank you for also finding not just male/female pictures but also pictures that had people of different ethnicities and ages.

Yes, the different ethnicities, that too was no accident. All children, be they male or female, regardless of their heritage, should be able to see representations of themselves. I think it is important for children to be told "You can be anything you want when you grown up" and also see examples of people who look like them who have accomplished their goals - to perhaps see a future version of themselves in these representations.

I would like to think that I have helped plant a seed of thought in that little girl, and possibly other kids in the class. They responded so positively to the one ballet picture I brought in. I don't know how the teacher is using the other pictures I sent her. Hopefully the children will respond positively when they see those pictures as well.

How Not to avoid talking water policy with a preschooler

As you know, SchmoopyBoy is fascinated with poop. Recently, his interest has taken a scientific turn. He now knows that food goes into our stomachs when we swallow, and comes out as poop. Even more recently, he asked what happens to the poop after it goes into the toilet.

Keeping in mind he is four years old, I tried to keep the explanation at his level. I should also note that he is at the stage of “Why?” Virtually every statement that comes out of my mouth is followed by SchmoopyBoy asking Why? So, with that in mind, here is approximately how the explanation went.

Me: The poop and the water go down the drain when you flush. Then it goes to pipes underground, to the water treatment plant.

SchmoopyBoy: Why does it go down the drain?

Me: To get to the pipes.

SchmoopyBoy: Why are the pipes underground?

Me: Because if they were above ground it would be really stinky.

SchmoopyBoy: Where is the water treatment plant?

Me: On the other side of town.

SchmoopyBoy: Why?

Me: Because that is where the clean water gets put back into the wash, and back to the lake.

SchmoopyBoy: Why is it clean water?

Me: The water gets cleaned at the water treatment plant.

SchmoopyBoy: Why?

Me: The water is dirty. It has poop and pee in it. It needs to be cleaned. Then the clean water goes back to the lake.

SchmoopyBoy: Why?

You can see how these conversations go. So the other day we were at Target and SchmoopyBoy needs to use the bathroom. I took him into the bathroom and he wants more information on how poop and pee are processed at the Target bathroom. He asks if his pee and the water in the toilet are going into pipes. I confirm that indeed they are. He asks if the pipes are underground. I confirm that indeed they are. He again asks why, and I again explain that if poop and pee water went across town over ground it would stink and it would be dangerous because there is bacteria in poop and pee that could make people sick. He continues his line of questioning, but then really wants to know about the treatment plant and the clean water coming out of the treatment plant. He really wants to know why the clean water is returned to the lake.

At this point people in the restroom are beginning to snicker at us – this preschooler barraging his mother with questions about poop and water treatment plants and why is the treatment plant on the other side of town and why does the water go to the lake, and on and on and on… why? why? why?

All this time I’m thinking to myself, He’s four. Keep it age appropriate. Do not start talking about water policy. Do not utter the words “consumptive use” or “return flow credits”. But alas, at this point I’m getting flustered and I'm so accustomed to talking about water related issues with adults in a professional setting that I can't think of how to answer his questions in terms a preschooler can understand, so what comes out of my mouth? The words “consumptive use” of course. I’m mumbling something incoherent about how we divert water from the lake, use what we need, and then return the rest to the lake after it gets cleaned at the treatment plant. And of course he keeps asking why? because I’m so incoherent and I’m using words like “divert” and “consumptive use” and for crying out loud the child is only four so what the heck does all this mean, and finally a woman who was trying so hard not to laugh just said to him “Because otherwise we would run out of water” and at last the conversation was over (for the time being) and we could return to our shopping in peace.  Thank you, kind woman, for summing everything up so succinctly.

You Are My Sunshine

I was inspired by this sunshine sandwich, so I offered SchmoopyBoy a sun for dinner. He took me up on the offer but said he wanted toast, banana, and peas. So, I had to abandon, to some extent, my original intention and create an edible sun from the requested materials.

I used a large glass as my circle template to cut the toast and a slice of muenster cheese. The face is made of freehand cutouts (obviously) from a slice of American cheese. (I think the face looks like a Halloween jack-o-lantern, which makes me hang my head.) For the sun rays I sliced the banana length-wise and in about 1-inch sections. Then I cut the corners off one side of each section to make them a little more pointy and surrounded the toast. I couldn't think of anything to do with the peas so I just split them in half and arranged them in a circle for a decorative border. So sad.

Simple. I can do simple. A professional I most certainly am not, but it turned out cute enough to make my kid happy and get him fed, so Yay for trying!

My family. I love them, but they're an odd bunch.

I just got back a couple of days ago from visiting my mother and sister in California. One night, as I was bathing Lil' Schmoo in preparation for bedtime, I overheard the following exchange.

SchmoopyBoy: Auntie, I want you to brush my teeth.

Auntie: (something about showing her what a big boy he is and brushing his own teeth…blah blah...)

SchmoopyBoy: You have really big boobies.

Auntie: Yes, I do. Thank you for noticing.

Husband: (turning red, muttering) I think I'll leave the room now.

Auntie: (to SchmoopyBoy) When you get older if I'm still single you can tell your friends that.

…


So the other night after dinner I bring it up and start to explain how that sort of interaction isn't polite. The husband tried to help make the point, and then things just got weird.

Me: You can get away with that now because you are four, but as you get older it will be considered 'bad form' to make  comments about the size of a woman's boobies.

Husband: Really, you shouldn't make comments about any part of a woman's body. You can't just walk up to someone and say 'You have a nose like a casaba melon!' or you'll be in a world of hurt.
…

Seriously, where do I find these people?

Operation Increase Recipe Repertoire

I've started a new initiative at home. I've been getting a bit bored and stale with my current repertoire of go-to dinner meals. I've got a ridiculous number of cook books that hadn't been getting much use. So, I decided that I was going to try at east one new recipe a week from one of my many cook books. I was planning on turning each trial into a blog post, complete with pictures and reviews. You can see where that went. Nowhere, fast.

Nonetheless I am pleased to say that after almost a month, I do have a couple new recipes that I will be happy to turn to again and again.

The Chickpea Cutlets in Veganomicon are yummy and fun to make with SchmoopyBoy's assistance. As fantastic as the food in this cookbook is, I haven't been using it much recently only because many of the recipes are very labor and time intensive. The chickpea cutlets recipe is really quite easy and fast. I've made them twice. On a related note, there are two recipes for vegan ricotta in Veganomicon. They are both fabulous. I used the almond based ricotta recipe in a lasagna a couple weeks ago, which turned out delicious! The next time I make it I'll try to remember to take pictures and post the recipe.

Also, the Seitan and Mushroom Stroganoff in Vegan Vittles is fantastic. I understand this cookbook is out of print, but you can get a copy used from Amazon. I got my copy as a gift from a co-worker just before Lil' Schmoo was born.  nom nom nom, so good.

Last weekend the husband broke down and bought a Vitamix. We got it for 20% off (which equates to a discount of $100, these things aren't cheap). It is actual great purchase, we use that thing every day. Seriously. Every day. But then again we used our old blender virtually every day too. What can I say, we like smoothies in our household. Anyway, the Vitamix came with its own recipe book and I've tried a few recipes, including Blueberry Soy Sherbet. What fun to make our own sorbet and sherbet! The recipe in the book was actually for peach soy sherbet, but we didn't have any frozen peaches, just frozen blueberries and frozen strawberries. The recipe said you can substitute any kind of frozen fruit, and SchmoopyBoy chose blueberry, so there you go.

I'll try to update our recipe expanding adventures again soon. Until then, happy eating!

Adding to my breastfeeding while working checklist

Well, it seems I can't go a year of pumping while working without an embarrassing incident. During SchmoopyBoy's first year, while pumping in a room with a non-locking door, I got walked in on by no other than the Division Chief. As delightful as that was (NOT), it did provide me with a golden opportunity, and in our new building, I now have a dedicated pumping room, which IS totally awesome.

Now, I've mentioned before that Lil' Schmoo is not the greatest sleeper in the early mornings while I'm trying to get ready for work, so I typically have lots of opportunities to nurse until I am 'empty' before I leave for the day. On Monday, however, he slept uncharacteristically soundly. This was certainly convenient as I got ready, but I did leave feeling a bit more 'full' than usual. Monday mornings are super busy at my office - reports to create and review, weekly staff meetings, etc. I made my way to pump at the usual time, and when I looked down to unbutton my shirt I noticed a sizable wet milk mark on the front. I hadn't noticed feeling a milk letdown, so I have absolutely no idea how long I had been walking around like that. I should also mention that I am the only woman in my work group. And did I mention the weekly Monday morning staff meeting?

When I finished pumping I washed the front of my shirt, which resulted in nearly half my shirt being wet. I thought I was going to have put on the spare jacket I keep at my desk to cover myself for the rest of the day, which, considering how warm it's been in the office, I really wasn't looking forward to. Fortunately it's a dry heat and the fabric of my shirt dried quickly - no more embarrassing milk mark - thank goodness.

So let's see my breastfeeding while working checklist:

• Get walked in on while pumping - Check!
• Pump on the floor of a bathroom stall and have someone call out "What's that noise?" - Check!
• Pump in the car in a Costco parking lot just before an offsite meeting because it was around the corner and seemed to be the most discreet location in the vicinity, and hope no one notices - Check!
• Walk around the office clueless that I've got milk leaking onto my shirt - Check!

Ah, the things we go through for our babies!

Do you have any embarrassing stories to tell about breastfeeding or pumping? Let me know in the comments and we can commiserate together!


***

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10 months of smiles

I can't believe he's already 10 months old! Such a delightful baby. Makes friends with people wherever he goes. I'm constantly getting comments about how happy and cheerful and playful he is. So true.

Ahh, the grin I've come to know and love

Coming to get you!