Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Welcome to Two - All About Food



Welcome to the July Carnival of Natural Parenting: Let's Talk About Food



This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about their struggles and successes with healthy eating. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.


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I don’t have any hard evidence, but I’m fairly certain my son received the following letter, or one remarkably similar, the day before his 2nd birthday. Did anyone else’s child receive the same letter?

Dear New Two Year Old:

Welcome to 2! You will find this year to be full of exciting developments and challenges. We at the Two-Year-Old Club will be sending you monthly newsletters with tips and tricks to make the age of two your best year ever. This newsletter is all about food. Everything you need to know about food to make year two more interesting for your entire family.
First topic – the rules. There are a number of rules to eating at the age of two:

1. Vegetables are totally for one year olds. You’re two now – you don’t need vegetables anymore. Most vegetables, even the ones you liked when you were one, should be rejected.

2. Eating at two is all about milk. Most types of milk have plenty of protein and are fortified with nutrients. You should try to fill up on milk to the best of your ability, then you won’t have to bother with vegetables and other foods your caregivers might try to tempt you with.

3. Fruit is ok. If nothing but milk isn’t your bag, feel free to eat any and all fruit. (Unless the fruit is the slightest bit squishy, then by all means you must reject it!) In fact, you should probably just prepare yourself to subsist primarily on milk and fruit for the next year.

4. Fast occasionally. We recommend taking a day every so often to consume nothing but milk, or simply nothing at all! It may drive your caregiver to tears, but we think it’s more fun that way. For added caregiver hysteria, draw the fast out for up to three days. Hee hee, your caregivers won’t know what hit them!

The next topic is the food pyramid. Your caregivers might try to talk to you about eating “well balanced” meals, and may show you a picture of a food pyramid. DON’T BE FOOLED! Here is the food pyramid you, as a member of the Two-Year-Old Club, should be following. Note the first three rules listed above are represented:



This concludes the first edition of the Two-Year-Old Club monthly newsletter. Stay tuned next month’s topic, “Crayons and fun things to do with them when your caregiver answers the phone”.

Take care,
The Two-Year-Old Club




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Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: MamaVisit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!



Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:



(This list will be updated July 13 with all the carnival links.)





15 comments:

  1. Lol! I hope my son doesn't get that letter! He is already a fruit eating monster at 11 months old-he pretty much will only eat fruit other than nursing. At least now if he's that way when he's 2 I'll know it's just a 2-year old thing and not anything wring with my son or parenting!

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  2. I think my son's newsletter also included a note about binge eating like it was his last meal :)

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  3. Oh, my goodness, hilarious post! Isn't their eating bizarre? I've been so happy my toddler's still nursing, or I'd have been seriously worried he was going to get rickets or something. ;) For our kid, it's been all about CARBS. Like he's going to run a marathon or something.

    I figure it will all shake out eventually, right?

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  4. This is AWESOME! My favorite post of the Carnival by far. My two year old does the food pyramid in spurts - sometimes he wants all fruit, all the time. Sometimes all carbs. Sometimes all dairy. Rarely all veggies. They are interesting to keep up with!

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  5. So cute!! Something to look forward to :)

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  6. Oh, thank God, I thought I was the only one :) My son, I think he WROTE this newsletter. And spilled milk on my keyboard.

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  7. This is hilarious! I think my youngest definitely got this letter. She's three and still tries to exist solely on breast milk and fruit with a spoonful or dairy and beans thrown in once in awhile. Thanks for your comment on my blog earlier. I didn't realize you were vegetarian! It's nice to know as I haven't run across too many in my bloggy travels.

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  8. Great post! The nice thing to know is that as adults, they really can learn to eat normally. My son was never picky, but my daughter was definitely a picky eater. At age 20, she appreciates most foods (and actually loves veggies!).

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  9. That was adorable, but now I'm worried that my good eater is going to be a picky two year old. I hope he doesn't get this newsletter!

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  10. Hehehehe so true!!! My daughter was the best eater until she was just over 2. But I think my boy has received this letter early...he just turned one! Well, I should give them some credit, they do eat mostly everything we give them, or at least try it. But still. Often they reject things.

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  11. I am planning to read every post in this carnival to see if anyone has any ideas how I might persuade my 22-mo Critter to eat some veggies. And you're telling me that it might get worse? Oh, dear.

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  12. Yeah, Julia got this letter a long time ago...I should have warned you. Oh, but on her food pyramid it says to ONLY eat pureed Gerber vegetables and nothing else. Sigh...

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  13. This is hilarious. Thanks for the laughs!

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  14. Haa haa... this is hilarious! I'm lucky that my 2 year old still thinks protein foods are nifty, but the base of his pyramid (like 75% of his calories) is fruit, fruit, fruit and more fruit. Yeah, those are some fun diapers, let me tell ya.

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