Exhibit 1.
How do get my 3 year old to eat black beans?
By calling them rabbit poo-poos.
Because, you know, there's nothing quite so hilarious as poo-poo. And what is better than talking about poo-poo than eating poo-poo?
I wonder how the Queen gets young children to eat beans. hmmmm....
Exhibit 2.
A recent conversation at my house.
It helps to know that (a) SchmoopyBoy is in the habit of adding the word poo-poo to everyday sentences, totally deadpan, (b) the husband recently got a new iphone, which is a great new toy for him, and (c) we watch all our tv through the computer.
SchmoopyBoy: I want to watch something.
Me: I think you've had enough screen time. How about if you play now, you can watch more tomorrow.
SchmoopyBoy: I want to watch poo-poo.
Me: Well, you're in luck. I'm on my way to the bathroom. You want to come with me? You can watch. (What? Half the time he follows me uninvited anyway, I might as well invite him.)
SchmoopyBoy: No. I want to watch poo-poo on the TV.
Husband: I can video tape mommy if you'd like. The iphone plugs into the computer really easily.
Me: ?!?!?!?!!!! (sighs and shakes head)
Showing posts with label toilet "humor". Show all posts
Showing posts with label toilet "humor". Show all posts
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Cloth Diapering My Newborn
When SchmoopyBoy was born, we had every intention of cloth diapering from the beginning. We bought a stash of one-size pocket diapers thinking the smallest setting would certainly be sufficient for our newborn, who would certainly be a least 8 pounds. Surprise! Out came our little 6 pound stringbean. The diapers we had were enormous for him. So we turned to disposables until he grew big enough for our stash.
This time, I bought a small stash of newborn sized cloth diapers of various types, and so far its going very well. I wanted to share some of my opinions on the various types we have, in case it may be useful for someone considering cloth diapers for their newborn. I purchased everything new, although I found most on some sort of sale or discount. All opinions are my own, and no one has offered any sort of compensation for my writing about them.
My favorite is probably the Rumparooz Lil' Joeys. I only bought one 2-pack because they are a little more pricey. These are an all-in-one diaper, so they are easy-peasy. Super cute. They come in lots of colors and they have a snap that allows you to use them before the cord stump falls off baby. I'm so sad my Lil' Schmoo will grow out of these soon.
I'm also loving my FuzziBunz Perfect Size in X-Small. I've got 6 of these in various colors. These are pocket diapers with a snap closure. I've used the one-size FuzziBunz with SchmoopyBoy with great success, so I thought I'd give the newborn size diaper a try. I'm glad I did. These and the Lil' Joeys are the diapers I use when we leave the house.
When SchmoopyBoy was small we tried a set of gDiapers. SchmoopyBoy was so skinny, they never fit particularly well and we had a lot of trouble with leaks. Lil' Schmoo is much more substantial in size, so I thought I'd pull out the old gPants and give them a try. To my delight they are working very well! I haven't used the flushable or cloth inserts that they sell specifically for the gDiaper system yet. I have been taking a bunch of cotton pre-folds that I already had on hand (the kind they sell at major retailers that most people use as burp cloths) and folding them into the right size to use as inserts. This has been working very well. I will say that this method is very bulky. I only use these when I'm at home because I can't really fit clothes over them. For travel I think the flushable inserts might be a good option.
The biggest disappointment is the set of Monkey Doodlez pocket diapers I found for cheap on Green Baby Bargains. The problem is that the inserts are tapered in a triangle shape, so there is almost nothing to catch pee in front. Perhaps these might work better for a girl, where more absorbency is needed in back than in front?
I wish I had pictures of Lil' Schmoo in each diaper to share with you. I tried taking some pictures with my trusty old cell phone camera and the results are really not worth sharing. You can see generic pictures of the diapers on the web sites linked above.
Happy cloth diapering!
This time, I bought a small stash of newborn sized cloth diapers of various types, and so far its going very well. I wanted to share some of my opinions on the various types we have, in case it may be useful for someone considering cloth diapers for their newborn. I purchased everything new, although I found most on some sort of sale or discount. All opinions are my own, and no one has offered any sort of compensation for my writing about them.
My favorite is probably the Rumparooz Lil' Joeys. I only bought one 2-pack because they are a little more pricey. These are an all-in-one diaper, so they are easy-peasy. Super cute. They come in lots of colors and they have a snap that allows you to use them before the cord stump falls off baby. I'm so sad my Lil' Schmoo will grow out of these soon.
I'm also loving my FuzziBunz Perfect Size in X-Small. I've got 6 of these in various colors. These are pocket diapers with a snap closure. I've used the one-size FuzziBunz with SchmoopyBoy with great success, so I thought I'd give the newborn size diaper a try. I'm glad I did. These and the Lil' Joeys are the diapers I use when we leave the house.
When SchmoopyBoy was small we tried a set of gDiapers. SchmoopyBoy was so skinny, they never fit particularly well and we had a lot of trouble with leaks. Lil' Schmoo is much more substantial in size, so I thought I'd pull out the old gPants and give them a try. To my delight they are working very well! I haven't used the flushable or cloth inserts that they sell specifically for the gDiaper system yet. I have been taking a bunch of cotton pre-folds that I already had on hand (the kind they sell at major retailers that most people use as burp cloths) and folding them into the right size to use as inserts. This has been working very well. I will say that this method is very bulky. I only use these when I'm at home because I can't really fit clothes over them. For travel I think the flushable inserts might be a good option.
The biggest disappointment is the set of Monkey Doodlez pocket diapers I found for cheap on Green Baby Bargains. The problem is that the inserts are tapered in a triangle shape, so there is almost nothing to catch pee in front. Perhaps these might work better for a girl, where more absorbency is needed in back than in front?
I wish I had pictures of Lil' Schmoo in each diaper to share with you. I tried taking some pictures with my trusty old cell phone camera and the results are really not worth sharing. You can see generic pictures of the diapers on the web sites linked above.
Happy cloth diapering!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Hilarious, and Not so Hilarious
Hilarious:
I was being naughty at work on Monday and went to check out Hobo Mama’s Sunday Surf where I found what might be the most hilarious post ever, for anyone who appreciates a good (and illustrated!) poopy story, which we all know I do. So there I was trying not to laugh out loud, for fear of bothering my office mate, which of course just made my laugh more shrill and obnoxious. My poor office mate has to put up with so much, between phone calls from my husband whenever SchmoopyBoy has a meltdown, and random evidence of my wasting valuable work time by laughing hysterically at random poopy stories on the web. But seriously, this one is goood. And, if you stop by sometime in the next year, this is going to be my life. Check out the rest of the blog too - funny, funny stuff.
Not quite so hilarious:
SchmoopyBoy’s language skills and sense of humor have been developing more and more. Somewhere along the line, he picked up an idea that toilet functions are funny. Don’t ask me where he learned that, I just live here… what? So, we’re now at the stage where every other word out of his mouth is “pee-pee” or “poo-poo”. I’m ashamed to confess I did crack up the first time or two it happened, more because I was surprised than anything, but of course that just encouraged him. So now, a typical conversation in my home goes something like this:
Me: Do you want butter toast or jelly toast?
SB: Poo-poo toast!
or
SB: Come play with me!
Me: OK. Would you like to play with your trains, or would you like to read some books?
SB: Pee-pee!
Me: I don’t think I want to play with pee-pee. How about trains or books? Or would you prefer to cook something for me in your kitchen?
SB: I cook POO-POO for you!
Me: I don’t think I’d like to eat poo-poo. How about a book? Do you want me to read you this book? (holding up popular book)
SB: Pee-pee book!
Me: sigh.
Even less hilarious:
Even less hilarious is when he yells “pee-pee” as loud as he can, completely randomly and unprovoked, at a restaurant. The looks from concerned and appalled customers, fearful that there’s about to be a stream of yellow heading their direction as they’re trying to enjoy their hard-earned weekend dining experience, are something to truly savor.
I may or may not have mentioned this in an earlier post. Parenting a 3-year old is awesome.
I was being naughty at work on Monday and went to check out Hobo Mama’s Sunday Surf where I found what might be the most hilarious post ever, for anyone who appreciates a good (and illustrated!) poopy story, which we all know I do. So there I was trying not to laugh out loud, for fear of bothering my office mate, which of course just made my laugh more shrill and obnoxious. My poor office mate has to put up with so much, between phone calls from my husband whenever SchmoopyBoy has a meltdown, and random evidence of my wasting valuable work time by laughing hysterically at random poopy stories on the web. But seriously, this one is goood. And, if you stop by sometime in the next year, this is going to be my life. Check out the rest of the blog too - funny, funny stuff.
Not quite so hilarious:
SchmoopyBoy’s language skills and sense of humor have been developing more and more. Somewhere along the line, he picked up an idea that toilet functions are funny. Don’t ask me where he learned that, I just live here… what? So, we’re now at the stage where every other word out of his mouth is “pee-pee” or “poo-poo”. I’m ashamed to confess I did crack up the first time or two it happened, more because I was surprised than anything, but of course that just encouraged him. So now, a typical conversation in my home goes something like this:
Me: Do you want butter toast or jelly toast?
SB: Poo-poo toast!
or
SB: Come play with me!
Me: OK. Would you like to play with your trains, or would you like to read some books?
SB: Pee-pee!
Me: I don’t think I want to play with pee-pee. How about trains or books? Or would you prefer to cook something for me in your kitchen?
SB: I cook POO-POO for you!
Me: I don’t think I’d like to eat poo-poo. How about a book? Do you want me to read you this book? (holding up popular book)
SB: Pee-pee book!
Me: sigh.
Even less hilarious:
Even less hilarious is when he yells “pee-pee” as loud as he can, completely randomly and unprovoked, at a restaurant. The looks from concerned and appalled customers, fearful that there’s about to be a stream of yellow heading their direction as they’re trying to enjoy their hard-earned weekend dining experience, are something to truly savor.
I may or may not have mentioned this in an earlier post. Parenting a 3-year old is awesome.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
The verdict is in, I'm having a...
boy!
Oh, the irony. Before we were married, I told my husband-to-be, "I hope having sons isn't really important to you. My line of women doesn't birth sons. I don't think I am even physically capable of carrying a male child to term."
At least four generations of women in my direct maternal line have only had female children. My great-grandmother birthed 8 children - all girls. My grandmother had two girls, each of which had two girls. Before SchmoopyBoy, my cousins had each had a girl.
And now, it's going to be me and a house full of testosterone. Heck, even my dog is male.
I like to joke with my friends that have girl children, "if the poop and fart jokes get too bad, I'm borrowing your kid for the day". Oh please, who am I kidding? I love me some poop and fart jokes. You people have no idea how I refrain from sharing random tooty stories. I refrain people, I do. 'Cause, darn it, toilet humor is hilarious - to me and 5 year olds at least.
But I digress. (What, me? Digressing about toots? Shocking, I know) ...ehem...
Yes, little Kickypants appears to have boy-parts. Now I will get the privilege of raising two good feminist allies. I hope I am worthy and able to live up to my expectations.
Oh, the irony. Before we were married, I told my husband-to-be, "I hope having sons isn't really important to you. My line of women doesn't birth sons. I don't think I am even physically capable of carrying a male child to term."
At least four generations of women in my direct maternal line have only had female children. My great-grandmother birthed 8 children - all girls. My grandmother had two girls, each of which had two girls. Before SchmoopyBoy, my cousins had each had a girl.
And now, it's going to be me and a house full of testosterone. Heck, even my dog is male.
I like to joke with my friends that have girl children, "if the poop and fart jokes get too bad, I'm borrowing your kid for the day". Oh please, who am I kidding? I love me some poop and fart jokes. You people have no idea how I refrain from sharing random tooty stories. I refrain people, I do. 'Cause, darn it, toilet humor is hilarious - to me and 5 year olds at least.
But I digress. (What, me? Digressing about toots? Shocking, I know) ...ehem...
Yes, little Kickypants appears to have boy-parts. Now I will get the privilege of raising two good feminist allies. I hope I am worthy and able to live up to my expectations.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
who doesn't care about this exciting development?!
Guess who just did his first poo-poo on the potty?
I'm so excited!
Yes, I realize post this makes me the biggest dork on the internet. I don't care.
:-P
I'm so excited!
Yes, I realize post this makes me the biggest dork on the internet. I don't care.
:-P
Monday, August 2, 2010
Monday whine fest
Whine, Moan, Groan, Complain
Been fighting a migraine since yesterday afternoon. Dang, this sucker is stubborn.
Went to bed too late last night and had insomnia (see above for a reason) so I’m tired.
Stomach feels like a pit of glop for the above 2 reasons. It doesn’t help that I’ve eaten crap this morning. I meant to pick up a couple of bagels on my way to work, but I got out the door late so I settled for a donut and o.j. from 7-11 because it was quick and on the way. ugh. blech.
So why was I late getting out to work this morning? Without getting too graphic, I’ll just say we had an incident involving poop, carpet, and a little person who is interested in potty training but doesn’t quite get it yet.
sigh. It’s a bit after 9am. Can I go home and curl up in a little ball and go to bed now, please?
And yes, as a matter of fact, I would like some cheese with my whine. It might make my stomach feel better.
Been fighting a migraine since yesterday afternoon. Dang, this sucker is stubborn.
Went to bed too late last night and had insomnia (see above for a reason) so I’m tired.
Stomach feels like a pit of glop for the above 2 reasons. It doesn’t help that I’ve eaten crap this morning. I meant to pick up a couple of bagels on my way to work, but I got out the door late so I settled for a donut and o.j. from 7-11 because it was quick and on the way. ugh. blech.
So why was I late getting out to work this morning? Without getting too graphic, I’ll just say we had an incident involving poop, carpet, and a little person who is interested in potty training but doesn’t quite get it yet.
sigh. It’s a bit after 9am. Can I go home and curl up in a little ball and go to bed now, please?
And yes, as a matter of fact, I would like some cheese with my whine. It might make my stomach feel better.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
"Baa Baa Poop Poop"
SchmoopyBoy is potty training his little animal toys.
He'll say "Baa Baa Poop Poop" and take his little sheep and hold it over the potty seat for a minute. Then he might even wipe the sheep with a square of toilet paper, deposit it into the bowl, and flush.
Then it's the horse's turn - "Neigh Neigh Poop Poop"
and then the cow's turn - "Moo Moo Poop Poop".
It's actually quite cute (although I try to get him to wait to flush the toilet until all the animals have gone poop so we aren't wasting so much water).
We have yet to see SchmoopyBoy poop in the potty, but I imagine that's coming too.
He'll say "Baa Baa Poop Poop" and take his little sheep and hold it over the potty seat for a minute. Then he might even wipe the sheep with a square of toilet paper, deposit it into the bowl, and flush.
Then it's the horse's turn - "Neigh Neigh Poop Poop"
and then the cow's turn - "Moo Moo Poop Poop".
It's actually quite cute (although I try to get him to wait to flush the toilet until all the animals have gone poop so we aren't wasting so much water).
We have yet to see SchmoopyBoy poop in the potty, but I imagine that's coming too.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
This post does not deserve a title
I almost titled this post "What the heck came out of my child's butt?!" but that seemed a little wrong to me.
I have a very juvenile confession. I think toilet humor is hilarious. John teases me that one only needs to say the word "poopy" in front of me and I crack a grin. Schmoopybaby's toots have long elicited grins, giggles, songs (When you're near me, I hear a symphony!) and other such silliness. I know I will regret it in a couple of years, but I just can't help myself sometimes. I am that big of a dork. :)
But there is a point when poop crosses the line from funny to gross; and my friends, this weekend we crossed that line. I'll spare you the details. Just sayin'.
I have a very juvenile confession. I think toilet humor is hilarious. John teases me that one only needs to say the word "poopy" in front of me and I crack a grin. Schmoopybaby's toots have long elicited grins, giggles, songs (When you're near me, I hear a symphony!) and other such silliness. I know I will regret it in a couple of years, but I just can't help myself sometimes. I am that big of a dork. :)
But there is a point when poop crosses the line from funny to gross; and my friends, this weekend we crossed that line. I'll spare you the details. Just sayin'.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)