Gratitude Post - 6/4/2012

It’s been a long time since I’ve written a gratitude post. Shame on me! So, without further ado, here are 5 things for which I am grateful this week.

1.       Peach season – I put a peach in my breakfast smoothie this morning, and my mouth did a happy dance.

2.       Indoor (i.e. air conditioned) play spaces – I took SchmoopyBoy to a birthday party at an indoor play space this weekend. It was 105 degrees outside and he still got to run around and climb ‘rock’ walls and swirl down slides to his heart’s content without anyone worrying about heat exhaustion.

3.       Visiting with old friends – I saw two of my dear old friends and their kids during Memorial Day weekend when we were in Southern California. So great to spend time with them.

4.       VPN – VPN stands for Virtual Private Network. It is what enables me to work from home two days a week. As the parent of young children, this contributes so much to my work-life balance.

5.        Husband led cleaning sprees – The clutter in my house was out of control. Out Of Control, I tell you. It was so bad even the husband couldn’t tolerate it anymore. So, this weekend we went into decluttering mode. It’s not 100% yet, but we made a dent, mostly due to his initiative.

Gratitude Post - 2/6/2012

I’m in kind of a bad head space at the moment, so I need to remind myself of the many things I have to be grateful for. Here are this week’s top 5 things for which I am grateful:

1. Baby smiles and giggles – no explanation needed, I think.

2. Food blogs – I get so many fantastic recipes from food blogs. Whenever I need a new idea for dinner or baking all I need to do is search online.

3. Cardboard moving boxes that we never threw out – Sometimes holding on to clutter is a good thing. These are simply the best toys for imaginative play. Currently there are two boxes in my bedroom that make up SchmoopyBoy’s dinosaur train. Hours and hours of entertainment.

4. Non-toxic nail polish – SchmoopyBoy has been into my nail polish for quite some time. I found some non-toxic nail polish marketed for children that don’t have a lot of the icky chemicals and doesn’t stink horrendously and bought some as a holiday gift back in December. One of the few gifts that still gets his attention, and I am much more comfortable with him using these.

5. My Maya Wrap ring sling – My favorite of my three ring slings, this ensures that I can go anywhere and Lil’ Schmoo can get a decent nap.

Gratitude Post - 1/20/2012

It has been too long since I’ve written a gratitude post. I have so many positives in my life. Here are this week’s top 5 things for which I am grateful:

1. Wellness room at the office - I have the distinction of being the first person to use the Wellness Room in my new building for its primary purpose – pumping breast milk. It is SO SO SO much better than what I had to deal with the first time.

2. Truly family friendly boss – I am now working from home two days a week, and my boss allows me the flexibility to switch my days at home when special circumstances arise. Makes my return to work easier on everyone in my household.

3. Seeing my baby laugh at his older brother’s silly antics – SchmoopyBoy is finally getting some of the positive attention from Lil’ Schmoo that he has been craving. It makes everyone feel a little more warm and fuzzy.

4. Baking with SchmoopyBoy – Over the past few months, SchmoopyBpy has really taken an interest in cooking and, particularly, baking with me. Almost every weekend I make a point of baking something with him. It’s a fun activity and special mommy-only bonding time for him, and we have yummy homemade (and relatively healthy!) treats around the house. On a related note…

5. The Joy of Vegan Baking – Many of the recipes SchmoopyBoy and I have tried out come from this book. Some of my favorite recipes include chocolate chip cookies, zucchini bread and muffins, cocoa spice muffins, and blueberry cake.

It's Thanksgiving! (and I'm still here)

Wow, time flies when at least one person (typically 2 or more) in my home have been sick nonstop for a month. It's Thanksgiving, so it's all the more appropriate for me to take a moment to thank the family and friends, even virtual friends that I've never met in real life, who checked in with me to see if everything was ok. To be honest, I was fairly far off in postpartum land for a while, but I think I am doing a little better now. I pretty much checked out from the computer. I haven't been reading any of my regular sites that typically provide inspiration and motivation for my own blog posts. Not much reading, no writing. It's pretty much been all baby all the time, and one-dimensional life has never been particularly good for my emotional state. Not to mention, between all the illness, and Lil' Schmoo's determination the past several weeks that the carseat is the most awful torture device in the world, I haven't been getting out of the house much. Isolation is another aspect that has never been particularly good for my emotional state. I've been forcing myself out of the house a bit this past week, and with the holiday I'll likely get out of the house a bit more this weekend (Thursday for Thanksgiving lunch at my in-law's at a minimum).

So, in honor of Thanksgiving, and in the spirit of getting out of my funk, here are 5 things I am thankful for:

1. Mastitis is cleared up. Whew!

2. Family and friends that care enough to take a moment to check in on me when I go MIA (yes, I mentioned this above, but it's worth repeating here)

3. Baby smiles (pictures forthcoming)

4. Kisses from SchmoopyBoy - he has been quite generous with them recently

5. Morning naps - I got one today. It was awesome.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

One year later

It is nearing the end of October, which is, in case anyone has forgotten, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I haven't written about it yet (although considering I've been up to my eyeballs living in newborn-sleep-deprivation-land, it's a minor achievement to post anything at all). That doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about it, and how my life has changed over the past year.

Last year at this time I was grieving pretty hard. Two losses in a year is certainly enough to put anyone off kilter. It was all I thought about, all I wrote about. And here I am, a year later, typing one-handed as I cradle my 5 week old nursling in my other arm.

Am I a better parent now because I have experienced loss? I sincerely doubt that. Am I a more appreciative parent? That is a possibility. I think back to what I took for granted with SchmoopyBoy, all the gratitude I did not indulge in. Granted, in the throws of my postpartum depression, I was more or less incapable of gratitude, but that feels like such a waste now. I look down at this dear, perfect child and the tenderness I feel for him is matched only by the gratitude I have for him. For Him - the child that lived, the child that I thought might never be.

He is worth the wait. But there is still some... regret? sadness? bitterness? that such a wait was imposed. Was he not yet ready to be born? Was I not yet ready to receive him? I may never understand the whys, and I may always wonder who might be here in his stead, had one of those other babies lived.

Does that make me a worse parent now because I have experienced loss? I doubt that. Am I a slightly more wistful parent? That is a possibility.

Such are the laws of physics and family building - for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. There is appreciation, but also wistfulness. There is joy, but also sadness. There is looking forward to the future, but also remembering and honoring the past. There is marveling at what I have, but also wondering about what I don't have.

Most of the time I am absolutely more connected with the positives - appreciation for what I have and looking forward to the future with my family. To be honest, I am rarely connected with the opposites. It's pretty tough to focus on negatives when you have such a soft-haired, cuddly pile of baby to gush over. Nonetheless, I can't help but grow thoughtful about these things when I look back to where I was at this time just one short year ago.

Gratitude Post - 8/29/11

Inspired by Amanda at Lets Take the Metro, I am attempting to post 5 things for which I am grateful each week. Here are this week's top 5:

1. Visiting with out of town family – While in Phoenix for a business meeting last week, I got to meet up with my cousin, aunt and uncle for dinner. It was great to see them, as it can sometimes go over a year between visits.

2. Birthday ice cream cake – When I was a child, every year my parents would get an ice cream cake for my birthday party. This year, with the opening of a vegan-friendly ice cream store relatively nearby, the husband and I splurged on an ice cream cake for our birthdays (his birthday is one day after mine). My childhood tradition may need to turn into an adult tradition too. ;)

3. My 3-year old singing happy birthday to me – The highlight of my day, by far.

4. Yummy new vegan brunch spot – I love brunch. It’s probably my favorite meal. I have so been missing a good brunch spot, since it is so hard to find a place that is vegan-friendly for the husband. Fortunately, a new vegan bistro recently opened, and we tried it out on my birthday. It was a long wait to get our food since we got there in the middle of the Sunday rush, but so yummy we will absolutely be back, and now that we know when the busy time is we can avoid the rush time or order ahead.

5. Having a vegetable garden in my back yard – This is the first year we’ve tried to grow anything, and our summer harvest has been quite respectable. I absolutely love that I can just go outside and pick an onion or a stalk of basil whenever I need it when I’m preparing dinner.

Gratitude Post - 08/08/11

Inspired by Amanda at Lets Take the Metro, I am attempting to post 5 things for which I am grateful each week. Here are this week's top 5:

1. Air conditioning – I totally stole this idea from Amanda, but so true. I live in the desert southwest, where temperatures well over 100 degrees F are the norm all summer, and where air conditioning is a way of life. I really feel for the people further east who are not accustomed to such temperatures and don’t have air conditioning.

2. Ice cream – Do I really need to explain this? In the middle of summer, what is better than a cold sweet treat after dinner? I don’t indulge very often, but I did over the weekend and had a very happy mouth and tummy.

3. Great co-workers – Last week my coworkers through me a little breakfast baby shower. It was very sweet. I’m lucky to have so many friendly, supportive co-workers.

4. Afternoon naps – Naps in my household are becoming an increasing rarity. When they do happen on a weekend and I can take advantage of the opportunity to get a little extra (much needed!) sleep myself, it is fantastic.

5. Spare pillow – Remembering how uncomfortable I was whenever trying to sleep while pregnant with SchmoopyBoy, I bought a big, firm, king sized pillow a few months back and have been using it to support my belly and legs when I sleep at night. I feel such a difference when I lay down without it for more than a few minutes. I’m thankful to be so privileged that I can splurge on such a thing that makes such a big difference in my comfort.

Gratitude Post - 7/24/11

Inspired by Amanda at Lets Take the Metro, I am posting 5 things for which I am grateful each week. Here are this week's top 5:

1. Pancake breakfasts made by the husband – I have a confession to make. I don’t do cooking for breakfast. A fried egg on toast is as complicated as I get, if I have the time. Otherwise it’s typically cereal, cereal, and more cereal. Forget about mixing batter for pancakes, waffles, or even French toast for that matter. That’s why having a husband whose forte is breakfast is awesome. My favorite is his whole wheat pancakes (note everything he cooks is vegan, it pretty much comes with the territory of having a vegan husband). Both last weekend and this morning he made my favorite and I ate more than my share. Speaking of the husband…

2. Picking up my slack without complaint - The husband and I share typically share the chores around the house. This includes daily kitchen clean up which usually get done at night after I’ve put SchmoopyBoy to sleep. Lately, however, I’ve been super tired so I’ve been falling asleep while putting SchmoopyBoy to bed a lot. This also means I’ve been leaving the kitchen is a state of post-dinner chaos. The husband has totally been picking up my slack. If he complains about anything, it is not that he is doing more than his share of kitchen cleanup chores, but that we haven’t had as much “us” time to talk at night the way we usually do. I’ve got to appreciate a person who laments the loss of talking together more than all the extra chores he’s picked up lately.

3. Having a swimming pool – I’m in my 3rd trimester and I am officially big and uncomfortable. One of the most comfortable places I can be is in a swimming pool with the water pressure holding up my belly and pushing the fluid surrounding my feet and ankles back into my veins. I’ve been able to get into a pool several times a week for the past couple weeks. It’s been heavenly. Oh, how I wish I had this kind of access to a pool when I was pregnant with SchmoopyBoy!

4. Squirmy McKickersons, which is how I’ve been referring to afore-mentioned yet-unnamed child - Some days it feels like this baby never sleeps. He goes from playing bongos on my bladder, to trying to push an alternative exit route through my side, to using my intestines as a trampoline, and so on. While it certainly is not comfortable, it is a constant reminder that my baby is alive, growing, and thriving, for which I am grateful.

5. Really nice hand me down children’s bedding – My sister in law has two boys that are 3 and 6 years older than SchmoopyBoy. Both of them have gone through periods in which they loved Thomas the Train. Consequently they’ve had Thomas merchandise galore – books, train toys, clothing, etc – most of which has made its way into my house as my nephews have grown out of them. This has fueled SchmoopyBoy’s own love of trains and Thomas in particular. (Oddly enough, he’s only seen the show maybe 3 times if that, and never at home, since we don’t have cable and the clips we found on You Tube are mostly fakes that are not child-appropriate. But the train toys... Oh, the train toys!) Our most recent acquisition is a complete set of bed sheets, in excellent condition. Yesterday we took them home, washed them, and made his bed with the set. SchmoopyBoy positively beamed when he saw them. He loves loves loves his “new bed”!

Gratitude Post - 7/3/11

Inspired by Amanda at Lets Take the Metro, I am posting 5 things for which I am grateful each week. Here are this week's top 5:


1. SchmoopyBoy's strong will - Although it pains me to experience it as a toddler, his strong will and persistence will serve him well as he grows into adulthood. This is a person who knows what he wants, and these qualities will help him succeed at his goals.

2. Three-day holidays - In honor of the July 4th Independence Day holiday, I get an extra day to spend with my family this weekend! Hopefully I won't need a weekend to recover from my long weekend. ;)

3. Quaint restaurants near my office that serve breakfast all day - Usually I bring my lunch to work, but on Friday I was running late and didn't have time to throw together much other than a few snacks, like fruit and yogurt. So, I went to a charming restaurant in a local hotel that I didn't even know existed with some co-workers. Turns out they serve breakfast all day. Omelet and bagel for lunch? And I can get a side salad from the lunch menu to go with it? I just hit the lunch menu jackpot! nom nom nom

4. Phone calls from old friends - I don't have much of a social community in my adopted town, so it is particularly meaningful for me to keep in touch with my old friends. This week I got a surprise call from an old friend that I haven't spoken with for about a month. It was great to hear from her.

5. Trip to the hair salon - I am really bad about taking time for myself for things like getting a hair cut. It has literally been since January that I got a hair cut, and it really showed. I treated myself to a Groupon for a hair cut and style at a fancy salon, which I took advantage of yesterday. I spent 2 hours being primped like a movie star, and when I got home my husband and child hardly recognized me! SchmoopyBoy told me my hair looked so shiny, and after requesting that I put a flower clip in my hair, told me I looked "like a princess".


I am going out of town next week to visit family in California, so I will likely miss out on next week's gratitude post. See you when I get back!

Gratitude Post - 6/27/11

I discovered the weekly gratitude post by Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro through Zoie at TouchstoneZ, who also posted about five things she is grateful for. What great inspiration! How could I not participate?! So, without further delay, here is my list of 5 things for which I am grateful this week.

1. Communication with SchmoopyBoy – I’ve been struggling a bit with some of SchmoopyBoy’s behavior lately. He knows how to press my buttons to get my attention. I’ve been trying to work with him on this, explaining how, when he wants more attention from me, I want him to use words and tell me “Mommy, I want more attention now.” Sometimes, I have felt like talking with my 3 year old is like talking to a brick wall. This last Saturday morning we were playing amidst a sea of giant foam letters and numbers. He wanted to find some toy or another and I suggested that we put away the letters in case the toy was under them, it would be easier to find it. I started collecting the letters to put them in their proper bag, and soon got distracted with clean-up work. SchmoopyBoy was much more interested in continuing playtime than getting involved in clean-up, and lo and behold, he exclaimed “Mommy, I need attention now!” No throwing. No hitting. Just an exclamation of his needs at that moment. I felt so gratified, of course I immediately dropped what I was doing and tackled my schmoopyboy into a fit of giggling glee. The entire day did not go quite as smoothly as that morning went, but I made a point that night at bedtime to focus on the positive and told him how much I liked it when he communicated his need for attention to me that morning using words, because it makes it so much easier for me to meet his needs when I he tells me clearly what he wants.

2. Our local CSA Farm – I know I gush about it periodically, but really it is making a difference in how we eat. The diversity of fresh vegetables forces me to be more creative in the kitchen (I keep meaning to share some of my recipe experiment successes). The quality can’t be beat, and I love being more connected with my food – knowing who grows it and how it is grown. On a related note…

3. Home-grown tomatoes – So cliché, I almost couldn’t stand to write it, but Oh good heavens the difference in flavor! Seriously, I never want to eat another store-bought tomato again. Between the little tomato plant that we are raising at home and the tomatoes from the farm, I’m hoping I won’t need to subject myself to those flavorless store-tomatoes for quite some time. nom nom nom.

4. The blogging community! – I get so much inspiration from the blogosphere. As I mentioned in my opening, this very post is inspired by bloggers Amanda and Zoie! It is uncanny how frequently I discover a series of posts that is exactly what I need to read during a particular time. (Sneak preview, I have another post in progress that is inspired by the posts these ladies wrote for the Mindful Mama Carnival. I have been conscious that I’ve been struggling with mindfulness for quite some time. Several of the posts I read during the carnival have inspired me to be more proactive in my journey. I’m hoping to have my thoughts put into place by the end of this week!)

5. Parent-toddler swimming lessons – At 27 weeks pregnant, my lower back and hips are giving me all kinds of ouchie reminders that I’ll be birthing a baby soon. I take SchmoopyBoy to a parent-toddler swim class every Sunday morning. Classes are a half hour of fun time for SchmoopyBoy, in which he is learning critical life-saving water skills, and a half hour of water pressure induced physical relief for me. I SO need to get into a pool more often!