Adding to my breastfeeding while working checklist

Well, it seems I can't go a year of pumping while working without an embarrassing incident. During SchmoopyBoy's first year, while pumping in a room with a non-locking door, I got walked in on by no other than the Division Chief. As delightful as that was (NOT), it did provide me with a golden opportunity, and in our new building, I now have a dedicated pumping room, which IS totally awesome.

Now, I've mentioned before that Lil' Schmoo is not the greatest sleeper in the early mornings while I'm trying to get ready for work, so I typically have lots of opportunities to nurse until I am 'empty' before I leave for the day. On Monday, however, he slept uncharacteristically soundly. This was certainly convenient as I got ready, but I did leave feeling a bit more 'full' than usual. Monday mornings are super busy at my office - reports to create and review, weekly staff meetings, etc. I made my way to pump at the usual time, and when I looked down to unbutton my shirt I noticed a sizable wet milk mark on the front. I hadn't noticed feeling a milk letdown, so I have absolutely no idea how long I had been walking around like that. I should also mention that I am the only woman in my work group. And did I mention the weekly Monday morning staff meeting?

When I finished pumping I washed the front of my shirt, which resulted in nearly half my shirt being wet. I thought I was going to have put on the spare jacket I keep at my desk to cover myself for the rest of the day, which, considering how warm it's been in the office, I really wasn't looking forward to. Fortunately it's a dry heat and the fabric of my shirt dried quickly - no more embarrassing milk mark - thank goodness.

So let's see my breastfeeding while working checklist:

• Get walked in on while pumping - Check!
• Pump on the floor of a bathroom stall and have someone call out "What's that noise?" - Check!
• Pump in the car in a Costco parking lot just before an offsite meeting because it was around the corner and seemed to be the most discreet location in the vicinity, and hope no one notices - Check!
• Walk around the office clueless that I've got milk leaking onto my shirt - Check!

Ah, the things we go through for our babies!

Do you have any embarrassing stories to tell about breastfeeding or pumping? Let me know in the comments and we can commiserate together!


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I'm celebrating World Breastfeeding Week with Natural Parents Network!
You can, too — link up your breastfeeding posts from August 1-7 in the linky below, and enjoy reading, commenting on, and sharing the posts collected here and on Natural Parents Network.

(Visit NPN for the code to place on your blog.)

The Problem with Dad

...is that he doesn’t have milk producing breasts.

It’s like this. I get up at 5am and slowly and gently pry my body away from the sleeping baby. About 3 minutes into my shower he wakes up. Sometimes I hear the husband try in vain to calm him as he hollers his disapproval. When I come to him, barely clothed and with my dripping wet head wrapped in a towel, he looks at me with surprise and admonishment. His eyes then turn down towards my chest and you would think it had been 15 hours rather than 15 minutes since he had last nursed.

He latches on, and looks up to my eyes as if to say “How can you possibly expect me to tolerate Daddy? Don’t you know by now I must have my soft pillows filled with warm sweet milk no more than 2 inches from my face at all moments? Duh!”

Secret agenda?

I found this gem over at Blue Milk. Love it.

Got Mastitis?

I do. And I can assure you, in case you've never had it, it is just as bad as you might imagine it to be.

Wait, no. I take that back. It's worse.

Besides the red, hot, sore and painful lump on my breast, there's the fever, the chills, the achey and painful everything - the worst flu ever is what it feels like. The kind of incapacitating flu that makes you want to curl up in bed and not move ever again. The kind that that, when you wake up lightheaded, dizzy, and nauseous from barely eating or drinking anything all day, makes you wonder how you're going to find the strength to carry an 11 1/2 pound infant that is sleeping in your arms a whole 20 feet to get yourself a glass of water. Nasty business, this mastitis.

This, plus the lingering cold that everyone in the whole house has had. That's right, now there's four people coughing their lungs out all night.

It's just a barrel of joy and rainbows around here I tell you.

bleh. vent over.

Semi-functional

I am thrilled and amazed to report that I am actually semi-functional these days. So different from 3 weeks after SchmoopyBoy was born. Today I had 3 goals - take a nap, put away the 3 loads of clean laundry sitting in my basket, and bathe Lil' Schmoo. It is not yet 2:30pm and I have met all 3 goals! Woo hoo! (What? It's the little things.) Bonus, I'm also getting diaper laundry done, updating the blog, and managing to put sustanence in my body every so often.

I also got out if the house twice this week! I went to a baby wearing group meeting on Wednesday, where I met a couple of really nice ladies who lent me some fabulous carriers that Lil' Schmoo hates. It's the position really. He wants to be in the cradle position pretty much all the time, and the wrap and mei tei I have on loan are based on a vertical position, which is currently totally unacceptable. So, he's been living in the ring sling, which is fine with me for now. I did also get to try a woven wrap at the meeting, which was totally drool-inducing for me. Perhaps when Lil' Schmoo gets older and bigger he might like those carriers better. Then I'll have to spend more money on such beautiful and comfy carriers. Or, I can stick with my Ergo, which really suits me just fine. I don't have an infant insert for it so that will have to wait a while. But then again there's that hating to be in the vertical position anyway thing, so just as well. I could so easily get addicted to baby carriers.

I had a really hard time with SchmoopyBoy in the ring sling when he was a newborn. I didn't really have the confidence to practice and figure out how to make it comfortable for him. I ended up not really using it until he developed head control and was able to use it like a pouch with him looking partially outwards. He never really wanted anything to do with facing my chest unless it was time to eat.

Using the carriers this time around is really an issue of practicality for me. I need to have my hands free to function and take care of of SchmoopyBoy and things around the house. Lil' Schmoo tends to wake of within minutes of my putting him down, so it I want any time to accomplish anything, I need to have him on my body in a safe, hands-free position.

I also went to a breastfeeding group meeting yesterday, which was a little disappointing because the lactation consultant wasn't there. So, I got a little feedback from a couple of mamas, but I'd have preferred a little professional advice. Breastfeeding is going pretty well in general, I just wanted to get a couple of tips because my right side has, once again, taken on the role of The Producer, and sometimes it's too much for my little guy. He sometimes comes off choking and gasping, which then of course triggers screaming, which is thankfully short-lived, but very sad nonetheless. They meet weekly, so I'll try to find out ahead of time if the lactation consultant will be there next week. It will be a good excuse to get out of the house again anyway.

I have to admit I'm still a little intimidated about taking trips to the store (any store) with Lil' Schmoo. And I haven't been anywhere outside of the house with both kids on my own yet. That will come soon though, I'm fairly sure. I'm at home on my own with both kids fairly regularly, as the husband takes class twice a week this semester.Things only got a little out of hand once, and thankfully the husband got home early that night so was able to take the baby while I gave SchmoopyBoy some much needed mommy-only time. I could talk about how SchmoopyBoy is adjusting, but I think that's a whole separate post, so I'll hold back for now. In general he is loving himself some baby, but the lack of mommy-only time is clearly taking a toll on him.

Well, that's the update for now. Have a great weekend everyone!

Covering Up is a Feminist Issue

Hello World! I’m alive and, thankfully, well again. I wanted to start the week by sharing this fabulous video created by Annie of PhD in Parenting. It touches two issues near and dear to my heart – feminism and parenting – in particular, breastfeeding.

I breastfed exclusively for the first year of SchmoopyBoy’s life. (Well, I introduced solids around 6 months, but breastmilk was still his primary source of nutrition.) During that first year, I did venture out in public and I did not hesitate to nurse him wherever I happened to be. I almost always used a cover when I nursed in public. There were a few instances that I let slide if I was wearing a nursing top and knew I wasn’t going to be flashing everyone, but really I was more comfortable keeping myself covered.

No one ever confronted me anywhere I went. Not a single person in any restaurant ever asked me to leave and feed my child somewhere else. Would that have been the case if I were not to have used a cover? I have no idea. It’s not like no one could tell what I was doing, either. When a woman is making googly eyes down towards her shirt, and a tiny hand is reaching up touching her face, it’s pretty obvious what’s going on.

What is my point? My point is that covering up was MY choice. It was about MY comfort level. If a woman is comfortable nursing in public without a cover, more power to her. It is not for me to judge another woman’s comfort with her body. It is not for anyone to judge a woman’s comfort with her body. The choice is with the individual woman, which is why covering up is a feminist issue.

For my formula feeding friends and family

I don't make it much of a secret that I have had a long, successful, satisfying breastfeeding relationship with SchmoopyBoy. (In fact, much longer than I had ever planned or expected). Nonetheless, although I think breastfeeding is great and I support the right of every woman to breastfeed in public and so on and so forth, it has never really occurred to me to consider myself a lactivist and I don't blog about breastfeeding much.

One of the reasons for this is that I personally know a number of women who, despite their best intentions to breastfeed their babies, had serious problems with breastfeeding and ended up turning to formula. I know some people would say, oh they just didn't have the right support, they gave up too soon, etc, etc. But I personally just don't see where it's my place to judge what is trying hard enough. Is torn and bleeding nipples, while simultaneously suffering from thrush (which I've heard basically feels like glass shards being pushed through your breasts every time they express milk), with a baby who was born tongue tied AND has a recessed jaw that would require extensive physical therapy in order to ever be able to develop a proper latch enough for one mother to bear before it is "ok" for her to stop trying to breastfeed? (True story, I'm not exaggerating this one woman's situation) There are so many reasons women stop trying to breastfeed an infant, and most of the women I know who stopped did so with regret and sadness and disappointment.

I have respect and sympathy for these women, not to mention they are family and friends for whom I care deeply. I'm not particularly interested in making anyone feel excluded who visits this site, so I don't post more about breastfeeding. I really liked Hobo Mama's post, formula feeders and bottle users welcome, which is my link for today. I tend to think a lot of 'natural parenting' sites can be a little exclusive to formula feeding mothers. This post is very inviting and welcoming and compassionate and lovely. OK, I'll stop gushing about it. Just go and read.

Carnival of Nursing in Public This Week

Paige at Baby Dust Diaries and Dionna at Code Name:Mama have co-sponsered the Carnival of Nursing in Public this week! You can check out lots of articles by mamas from all over the world, and get lots of resources on legal rights of breastfeeding mothers. Check out their new web site created just for the carnival at NursingFreedom.org.

My boy is growing up

How so?

1. We have officially dropped the before bed nursing session. It went remarkably easier than I thought it would. I talked to him about it for several days. Each evening while he nursed I told him that in X number of days the boobies are going to sleep early. He wouldn't be able to get milk from them, but he could have strawberry milk (Pediasure) with a straw or a bottle of soymilk if he wanted instead. The first day he complained a little, but I reminded him that there would be no milk from the boobies at bedtime anymore and he was fine. By the third night (which was last night), he didn't even ask.

I haven't dropped the wake up session yet. For one, my body is still regulating itself with the dropped session, and by morning, since it's been 24 hours, I still feel full enough to want him to nurse and give me some relief. Second, I expect this one to be more difficult to drop, so I don't want to push too hard too fast. Maybe in another week or so I'll start talking to him about dropping the morning session.

2. SchmoopyBoy starts school next week! Well, ok, at the age of two it's still considered daycare, but this will be his preschool too when he is old enough. I'm really excited about it. It's a really nurturing place that uses gentle discipline (no time outs, teaches the children to solve their own problems with words, etc), one of the few nationally accredited daycares/preschools in the area, and most importantly SchmoopyBoy loves it. Every other place we've gone to, he has kind of held back and clung to me and/or John - but every time we have taken him to this place he has immediately taken off and was like "Mom? Mom-who? Dad? What dad?" which I think is GREAT! For anyone in the area who reads this and is considering a daycare or preschool for your schmoo, I totally recommend checking out the campus child care at the local community college.

During the summer he's only going twice a week, as he still has some other weekly activities and play dates that we don't want to cut off quite yet. But starting in fall he'll go 5 half-days a week.

Good luck to SchmoopyBoy on his new adventure!

Making a Difference For Mamas

Welcome to the May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have waxed poetic about how their parenting has inspired others, or how others have inspired them. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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Let me be clear about this. I am nobody's role model when it comes to parenting. I am somewhat of a pariah within my family of mainstream parents, and most of my friends chuckle and shrug at my crunchy ways.

Having said this, I have accomplished something that will make an impact for mothers in the future - mothers I have never met, who I may never meet, and who will never know my contribution. I am getting a nursing/lactation room built in my work organization's new building.

About one year ago, I was still pumping three times a day for my then almost one-year old. My workspace is comprised largely of cubicles and shared offices. I was fortunate that, although I share an office with a man, I was typically able to find a spare office in which to pump. One day when my officemate was not there, I closed my non-locking door to pump, and in the middle of my session, who should open the door and walk right on in but the director of my entire department. Umm, yeah that was awkward.

I posted a quick note to a local Yahoo mama list to cringe at the fact that I had to give a presentation to the department later that day. One of the responses I received suggested I use the presentation as an opportunity to suggest that the organization create a room for working nursing mothers to help avoid embarrassing walk-ins. Another posted a link with information regarding corporate lactation programs. It dawned on me - due to the passage of the stimulus bill my organization had received funds specifically for the design and construction of a LEED certified green building. The project manager was soliciting feedback and ideas from employees regarding the design. So, I wrote a proposal for inclusion of a facility in which nursing mothers could pump breastmilk.

I confess I was surprised my proposal was received so well. I work predominantly with engineers - male engineers. I wasn't sure if my proposal would be viewed as a woman asking for special privilege. But here is the response I got when I inquired about the status just last month:

I think that your suggestion was great.
We incorporated it into the Criteria Package, and I will ensure that it is carried through and fully developed in the design process.
Thanks for the input and engagement. It is always wonderful and rewarding to work with stakeholders who are involved.
If you have any future thoughts regarding design considerations, please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime.

Can I just say… YAY!!!

And here is the proposal that won them over (with *This Organization* substituted for the name of my company):

*This Organization* is in the unique position of being able to design and build a new workplace facility. This is a great opportunity to address an employee need that is lacking at current workspaces. Currently, there is no facility in existing buildings appropriate for women who are new mothers returning to work after maternity leave and need to pump breast milk. When an empty office is available, women can use the empty office; however, the only alternative is the bathroom. These facilities are not adequate or appropriate for this purpose for the following reasons:

• Practicality (you need somewhere to set up a pump near an electrical outlet, something to hold collection bottles, a surface on which to package the milk, a place to sit, and consistent light in the room that will not automatically turn off after 5-10 minutes).
• Unsanitary conditions (this is food for a newborn).
• Lack of privacy (pumping is a very personal and sometimes difficult process; quiet and privacy are preferable.)

I propose that the design for the new building include a private area to be used by nursing mothers. This will provide not only the obvious benefits to the new mother and the new baby, but some distinct benefits to *This Organization*:

• A breast-fed baby is a healthier baby. Healthier babies mean fewer stay-at-home days for mom. In addition, a healthier baby means fewer medical expenses, which is a tremendous financial incentive for federal health insurers.
• An employee with fewer concerns for the welfare of her child is more able to fully focus on her job.
• An employee with a convenient, sanitary, and private location for pumping will have more options in scheduling her day (for example, not having to take long lunches to drive home).
• When recruiting new employees, such facilities may make *This Organization* more competitive and attractive for potential employees that are or soon will be of child-bearing age.
• Elimination of embarrassing walk-ins into non-locking offices (of which I personally have experienced once, and almost a second time)

To set up a basic facility, the following things would be needed:

• A small room with a lock on the door
• A chair and small table
• An electrical outlet

In addition, it would be helpful to have easy access to a small sink and refrigerator from the room.

I hope that you will consider my proposal and see what a valuable contribution this small addition to the design of the new building can make in the quality of life for a potentially significant number of our employees. By building a LEED-certified building, *This Organization* is staying on the cutting edge of environmental sustainability. I would like to see *This Organization* stay on the cutting edge of providing a healthy work environment and excellent benefits for employees also. I believe this would be a step in that direction.

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Woman Seeking Inspiration — Seeking Mother's struggles and joys to find her own path in motherhood have inspired others — to her surprise! (@seekingmother )
• Paving the Way — Jessica at This is Worthwhile makes a conscious effort every day to be a role model. (@tisworthwhile )
• No Rules Without Reason — The Recovering Procrastinator wants to inspire her husband to discipline their children gently. (@jenwestpfahl)
• Creating a Culture of Positive Parenting Role Models — Michelle at The Parent Vortex shows parents at the playground how to do a front wrap cross carry and tells nurses about her successful home births, as a way of modeling natural parenting in public. (@TheParentVortex)
• Making A Difference for Mamas — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest took an embarrassing pumping incident at work and turned it into an opportunity for all the employees who breastfeed.
• Inspiring Snowflakes — Joni Rae at Tales of Kitchen Witch Momma is a role model for the most important people: her children. (@kitchenwitch)
• Paying it Forward — Amber at Strocel.com inspires new (and often scared) mamas with these simple words: "It will be OK." (@AmberStrocel)
• A SAHD's View on Parenting Role Models — Chris at Stay At Home Dad in Lansing doesn't have many role models as a SAHD — but hopes to be one to his daughter. (@tessasdad)
• Am I a Role Model? A Review — Deb at Science@home brings attachment parenting out of the baby age and shows how it applies (with science fun!) to parenting through all of childhood. (@ScienceMum)
• Say Something Good — Arwyn at Raising My Boychick reminds women that it is within our right to be proud of ourselves without apology. (@RaisingBoychick)
• Try, Try Again — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis wants to inspire like the Little Engine that Could.
• I'm a Parenting Inspiration, Who Knew? — Sarah at OneStarryNight has received several beautiful comments about just what an inspiration she has been, if not in real life then definitely online. (@starrymom)
• That Little Thing — NavelgazingBajan at Navelgazing demonstrates the ripple effect, one status update at a time. (@BlkWmnDoBF)
• How Has Your Day Been? — mrs green @ littlegreenblog inspired her friend to be an active listener for her children. (@myzerowaste)
• No, Thank You! — If you are reading Maman A Droit's post, you've probably inspired her. (@MamanADroit)
• My Top 3 Natural Parenting Principles — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now describes how her family's natural and Montessori principles inspired others. (@DebChitwood)
• My Hope for a Better Life — Mandy at Living Peacefully With Children hopes her choices inspire her children toward a better life.
• Natural Parenting Felt Natural — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes didn't plan on natural parenting — but her son led her there. (@sheryljesin)
• Rest. Is it even possible? — Janet at where birth and feminism intersect has found that even role models need rest — and that there are ways to fit it into everyday parenting life. (@feministbirther)
• May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role model — Lauren at Hobo Mama was the fortunate recipient of a seed of inspiration, and has been privileged to plant some of those seeds herself, though she didn't know it at the time. (@Hobo_Mama)
• crunchspiration — the grumbles at grumbles and grunts wants to inspire others to parent from their heart. (@thegrumbles)
• No Extra Inspiration Required — Zoey at Good Goog doesn't think she inspires anyone and wasn't inspired by anyone in return — except by her daughter. (@zoeyspeak)
• Upstream Parenting — Luschka at Diary of a First Child blogs for that one mother in one hundred who will find her words helpful. (@diaryfirstchild)
• Parenting Advice for the Girl from Outer Space — If Mommy Soup at Cream of Mommy Soup could give one piece of inspirational advice to new parents, it would be to parent with kindness. (@MommySoup)
• Natural Parenting Carnival — Role Model — Sarah at Consider Eden feels the pressure at trying — and failing — to live up to her role models. (@ConsiderEden)
• May Carnival of Natural Parenting: Role Model — Dionna at Code Name: Mama encourages natural parenting mamas to take joy in the fact that they are touching lives and making a difference to children every day. (@CodeNameMama)
• Inspiration Goes Both Ways — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! is flustered that people consider her a breastfeeding role model — but the lovely comments she's received prove it's so. (@bfmom)
• My Seven — Danielle at born.in.japan has identified seven role models in her life who brought her to natural parenting. Who are your seven? (@borninjp)
• A Quiet Example — Alison at BluebirdMama was one of the first parents in her group of friends — and has come to see almost all those friends follow in her natural birthing footsteps, whether intentionally or not.
• Gentle Discipline Warrior — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries has inspired a gentle discipline movement — join her! (@babydust)
• Change The World... One Parent At A Time — Mamapoekie is more comfortable inspiring parents online than she is in real life. (@mamapoekie)
• Inspirational Parenting — pchanner at A Mom's Fresh Start has intentionally tried to be a role model but was unprepared for how soon someone would take notice. (@pchanner)
• My Inspiration — Erin at A Beatnik's Beat on Life has written thank-you letters to everyone who's inspired her to become the lactivist and natural parenting advocate she is today. (@babybeatnik)