Children choose their parents prior to conception. When a soul is in the Upper World, it chooses parents who will be able to provide it with the spiritual and physical DNA necessary for the child to achieve the personal transformation for which it comes into this life.
Both the child and its parents create for each other the opportunity to grow, evolve, and transform.
These opportunities are especially obvious during parent-child conflicts.
Interesting idea, although it brings a lot of unsettling questions into my mind. Particularly with respect to (1) situations in which abuse or neglect is involved, and (2) infertility.
With respect to abuse/neglect, I have such a hard time believing that souls choose to suffer in their lifetimes on this earth. What about infanticide? What about the many children that are abused, literally to death? When a soul is taken from this life too young to "achieve the personal transformation for which it comes into this life" how can the soul have chosen such a fruitless path to transformation?
With respect to infertility, Does this include foster or adoptive parents, or is it limited to biological parents? What about parents who have children through donor gametes or sperm, or use a gestational surrogate? This really brings up the question in my mind of what/who is a parent in the 'eyes' of a soul, so to speak.
It's been something like 4 years since I've been to the local Kabbalah Center, but I would be interested in discussing this with someone more advanced in Kabbalistic knowledge and theory than myself. What do you think of this theory?