It was a tough week for SchmoopyBaby. For starters, he is showing signs of teething his 2-year molars. At 20 months it seems a bit early to me, but all his other teeth have been in for some time now so it has to be those. Additionally, he is also showing signs of being sick - possibly just a cold, but possibly an ear infection (or maybe just more teething symptoms). If he doesn't appear to getting any better by Monday then we'll take him to a doctor to get confirmation of something or nothing.
What is boils down to is this - SchmoopyBaby doesn't feel well. And when he doesn't feel well he wants mama - all day and all night. Seeing as SchmoopyBaby won't sleep in my bed (a couple of dorks thought it would be fun to use our bed as a place to play steamroller and superbaby, so now he associates our bed with play instead of sleep) that means I have spent part of the night sharing a twin mattress with Schmoopybaby on the floor of his room. I don't have a problem with this. I don't sleep fabulously well in those conditions, but I sleep well enough and my child needs me so I'm happy to do it.
The problem has been more of the 'all day' part of the equation. Leaving for work on Wednesday and Friday was absolutely excruciating. SchmoopyBaby clung to me like his life depended on it. We finally got him to somewhat willingly let go and get handed to Daddy, but as I left he wouldn't stop reaching for me and crying.
I know this is completely normal behavior for a child his age even if he were feeling well, and is just a phase that will go away on its own. I also know that he stopped crying just a few minutes after I left and had plenty of fun throughout the day with his Daddy. Knowing this did not make it any easier, or lessen the guilt in the slightest. sigh.
Sometimes work-family balance is hard. Sometimes mommy-guilt really gets me down.